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Cutting edge just doesn’t cut it for me

I know it would have hurt his feelings if I had laughed out loud. So I didn’t — but I wanted to.

A 20-something cellphone guy was trying to make me glad that I had to upgrade, even though the “new” phone was badly misbehaving. And because they decided it had to be bigger, it now falls out of my purse and pocket.

I innocently said to him, “Could I please just get another like the one I had? I loved that phone.”

His eyes got wide and his face took on a look of absolute horror and disbelief. “Well, no!” he gasped. “That would be using old technology!”

Old technology. Two entire years old. Hmmmm. Yeah, what a seditious and distasteful thing for me to even consider.

But the real epiphany was that he truly and simply was not capable of grasping why anyone would want to stick with technology that was a few years old.

As bright as he may be, it was absolutely, positively astounding to him that anyone would not be panting to have the most cutting-edge bells and whistles.

I’ve never really been a bells and whistles kind of gal. No, I don’t want to churn my own butter, but my home is decorated with real and fake antiques. I like big band music as much as Adam Levine. I miss my old refrigerator.

I can manage new technology. I’m just not convinced I should have to. My age plays into this, I know, but that is not the only reason I was content with “old” technology.

It is beginning to look as though upcoming generations have lost the ability to be content with something that meets their needs and doesn’t break down. I believe they consider “glitches” as paths to the next fabulous discovery. If something just works, it means that we haven’t asked enough of it.

I suspect this is the map to the future, but I am here to tell you, being in the midst of it will age you faster than a tanning bed with baby oil.

I expect I will someday be a member of the “vintage phone” club, which meets to show off refurbished, mint-condition flip phones painted candy-apple red.

Jean Gillette is  a freelance writer and technology laggard. Contact her at [email protected].

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