A question from Miranda:
Some days, I feel like I have everything figured out. I’m productive, motivated, and getting things done. I can see what needs to happen, get started, and build momentum.
Other days, it feels like my brain has completely checked out. I lose track of time, struggle to focus, avoid my emails, and spend hours scrolling on my phone. I’m late to work, miss deadlines, and can barely convince myself to get out of bed.
Why does this happen? And when my ADHD feels like it’s on fire, what am I supposed to do?
Thanks, Miranda. You’re definitely not alone in this.
One of the frustrating things about ADHD is that knowing what you need to do doesn’t always translate into being able to do it. You can have the intention, the ability, and even the desire to get something done, yet still struggle to take that first step.
Some days, you feel connected to your tasks. You know what matters, you can see the next step, and getting started creates momentum. On other days, everything feels harder. You may feel disconnected from time, overwhelmed by your responsibilities, or unable to access the energy you need to begin.
When that happens, it’s tempting to search for a quick fix. But before you try to solve everything at once, take a step back.
Start with the fundamentals.
How have you been sleeping? Have you eaten? Have you had enough water? Have you moved your body or made time for something you genuinely enjoy?
These questions can sound almost too simple when you’re facing a mountain of responsibilities. But your capacity to think clearly, manage emotions, and get started can be affected by how well you’ve been looking after yourself.
Imagine you’ve been working for two weeks straight. Your sleep has been terrible, you’ve been scrolling late into the night, and you left an important report until the evening before it was due. You stayed up trying to finish it, skipped breakfast the next morning, and haven’t made time to move or recharge.
Now you’re wondering why you can’t concentrate.
The answer may not be that you suddenly became lazy or incapable. You may be trying to function without enough recovery.
When we’re exhausted and overwhelmed, executive functions—the mental skills involved in planning, prioritising, regulating emotions, and getting started—can become harder to access. We may find ourselves reacting to whatever feels most urgent instead of being able to pause, think deeply, and make a deliberate choice.
This can feel like operating in survival mode. You’re responding to the next problem, the next notification, or the next uncomfortable feeling, rather than being able to step back and decide what would actually help.
Then look at what’s triggering the difficult day.
Once you’ve checked the fundamentals, ask yourself whether something specific is making today harder.
Sometimes, there’s a recurring pattern. Perhaps you consistently struggle after several days of intense work. Maybe certain tasks are particularly difficult to start, or you find it hard to transition from one activity to another.
Other times, there’s a specific source of stress.
Is there a meeting you’re avoiding because you’re worried someone will ask about an overdue task? Is there an email you haven’t answered because you owe someone an explanation? Is there a conversation you’re putting off because you’re afraid of disappointing someone?
Avoidance often has a reason. Sometimes, the task itself isn’t the biggest obstacle. It’s the discomfort, uncertainty, or fear attached to it.
And when you have too many things competing for your attention, everything can start to feel equally important. You don’t know where to begin, so you do nothing—or turn to something that offers immediate relief, like scrolling on your phone.
The difficulty is that avoiding the task may temporarily reduce your discomfort, but it can also leave you with more pressure to deal with later.
Make the next step smaller.
You don’t have to fix your entire day at once.
If you haven’t eaten, start there. If you’re exhausted, consider what recovery you can realistically make room for. If a task feels overwhelming, identify one small, concrete action. Instead of “finish the report,” perhaps the first step is simply opening the document and listing what’s missing.
If you’re avoiding an email, you might draft a response without sending it yet. If you don’t know what to prioritise, write down the tasks competing for your attention and choose one based on what genuinely needs to happen next.
The aim isn’t to force yourself into a perfect, productive day. It’s to find a manageable way forward.
And if you find that you’re regularly struggling to get out of bed or function in everyday life, it’s worth reaching out to a qualified professional for support rather than trying to manage everything alone.
A difficult day is information, not a verdict on who you are.
When ADHD feels overwhelming, it’s easy to turn a hard day into a judgment about your character. You start questioning your ability, your reliability, or your value to the people around you.
But struggling to function today doesn’t erase what you’re capable of tomorrow.
Instead of asking, “What’s wrong with me?” try asking, “What’s making this difficult, and what would help me take the next step?”
You may not be able to control every fluctuation in your energy, focus, or motivation. But you can begin to recognise your patterns, understand your triggers, and build strategies that help you navigate the days when things feel harder.
You don’t need to win the entire day. Sometimes, the next small step is enough.
Ian Wahlert is a certified ADHD coach with a decade of experience helping over 1,000 adults manage ADHD. He is a recognized speaker providing coaching both locally and worldwide. Email [email protected] to submit your questions and get answers in future columns.
