Fall is fast approaching. I have one word of advice for the elderly — DON’T.
A lot of people are special needs, like my family. They NEED to shut the hell up.
My hair was thinning, so I started taking a hair growth supplement. Now I’ve got a hairy chest.
The economy is bad. I work at the fairgrounds and racetrack. The last time I saw a $5 bill in my tip jar, Lincoln wasn’t old enough to have a beard.
The world is changing fast. At my medical facility, they gave me a medical information sheet to fill out. They asked, “What’s the worst pain you’ve ever experienced?” I said, “Marriage.” Then they asked, “Do you identify with straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, don’t know, or something else?” What else could there be? Don’t know?
If 50 years ago I had said, “In the future, a lot of women will have tattoos and men will be wearing eye makeup and have pierced ears,” they would have thought I was crazy.
I have a new book coming out soon, “Everything You Thought You Knew About Nothing,” with all blank pages. Sure to be a best seller.
Ex-Congressman George Santos has started his prison term. He lied about many things to get elected, such as being related to Holocaust victims, having college degrees, and being gay. He was expelled from Congress after they voted 311-114 to get rid of him.
This worries me — do the 114 voting against his removal think these lies are okay? Maybe we should have a contest for who can make up the worst lies ever, and the winner gets to be a congressman.
Every time I do a comedy show, I say a prayer before going on stage: “May God have mercy on this audience.”
Jere Evans is a comedian and comedy writer. She lives in Encinitas. Follow her on YouTube at jereevanscomedy and on Instagram at Jere Evans.
