There’s a new scam targeting the elderly. They call you and ask if you got your new Medicare card in the mail. Of course, people say no because there isn’t one. Then they ask for your personal info for the new card. Well, I got one of those calls last week — “Hi, this is Joe from Medicare. Did you get your new card in the mail?”
I said, “Yes, I got a new card. It had your name and a picture of an a—— on it,” then I hung up. I don’t think he’ll call back.
So much crap in the world. My ex-husband has a new girlfriend and brought her over to meet me (WHY?????????????) She said, “You don’t look like I thought you would. I thought you’d be pretty.”
I said, “Well, when I saw your face, I wanted to put a diaper on it. Sometimes makeup can help, but that green makeup didn’t help you. Now, when I look up at the sky, I expect to see ‘SURRENDER JERE.’”
When you marry a man, you take his name. As the years pass, you still take his name — IN VAIN.
The economy is so bad. Everything is so expensive. Last week, I saw a mass of people walking. I thought it was a No Kings march, so I joined the group. It turned out to be a group of people walking to the grocery store. They can’t afford to buy food and gas.
I came up with the solution to that problem. If you eat the right foods, you’ll get gas for free!
MENOPAUSE — what a joke. Nothing has paused; my hormones are still running wild.
I was watching an old Peter Sellers movie (I love him). In the credits, the director of photography was named Dick Bush. He’s bisexual for sure.
Love life and be kind to others. Never forget how to laugh.
Jere Evans is a comedian, comedy writer and third-generation San Diegan. She lives in Encinitas. Follow her on Facebook, Instagram and YouTube. Read more Instability columns here.
