Something is biting me.
I have three bug bites on my person at this point, which is three too many, because I am a delicate flower. When one of those histamine-inciting beasts goes after me, I start to think the delirium of malaria might be preferable to the itching and swelling that results. Summer bug bites have been the bane of my existence since childhood. If there is a mosquito or flea or bitee-bug of any kind within 10 miles, it will find and feast on me. Then I get a big welt that itches like fire for days. Like I said … delicate flower.
However, I thought I had found a solution to my misery through mega-doses of B-vitamin. I was convinced since it smells nasty to me, it must smell equally unappetizing to bloodsucking critters. It seemed to work well for a long time — then this week, it didn’t. Then I read that B-vitamin protection is a big myth. Oh bother.
I also read, with some horror, that several new strains of mosquito have arrived in the U.S. It seems Aedes aegypti (the yellow fever mosquito) and Aedes albopictus (the Asian tiger mosquito) have been found in California, and have the potential to transmit heretofore-rare diseases like dengue, chikungunya and Zika. I’m hoping that quinine can be used to treat these like it does malaria, as I am a big fan of gin and tonic water.
The troubling difference with these bites is that I did not hear the approach of the flying beast. I have developed super-hearing for that high-pitched whine that ‘squitos make. I count on it to spot them and take them down with hair spray. Yes, one good cloud of hairspray drops them like a rock and you don’t even have to be accurate.
So, my real fear is that one of these new mosquitoes is a stealth bomber. If there is one that can hover around me with no early warning system, I am in deep trouble. There’s a chance you may find my pale husk of a body, drained dry, with a full can of hairspray clutched in my hand.
In mild desperation, I broke out my old backpacking standby, Off Deep Woods repellent, and gave myself a spritz. It nearly choked me, but it seemed to work. I don’t really want to end the day smelling like I just hiked half-dome, but that may be the case for the next few weeks.
I found myself feeling relieved when the label said it also repels fleas, ticks, biting flies, gnats and chiggers. Based on that list, I feel like just dodging one or two persistent mosquitoes is pretty manageable. But I’m keeping my AquaNet close by just in case.
Jean Gillette is a freelance writer looking longingly at bed-canopy bug netting. Contact her at [email protected].
