My invitation to address Wee Pals Nursery School’s graduating class must have gotten lost in the mail.
It’s the only logical conclusion I can come to for not seeing the class of 2026 off into the world today.
Had it arrived, I’d be telling them the following:
Congratulations. As you enter the world of elementary school, remember to market yourself properly to your kindergarten teacher to guarantee your future success.
Nursery school has been a time for playing, but now it’s time to buckle down and show your abilities with blocks and finger paints.
Success in kindergarten can lead to the right college and 50 years of working hard before you’re allowed to spend all day playing again, so you want to get off to a good start.
At Harvard Elementary, Professor K’Diddlehoffer will stress a strategic plan’s importance, which will contain these key elements:
- Your objective. Whether you want blocks, nap time or a puppy, always keep your eye on the goal (and the ball).
- Your messaging. You want macaroni and cheese for lunch. Mom said no, but she’s not here. How do you ask for what you want?
- Your audience. Crying may persuade little Suzie next door, but Mrs. Crontzmeyer doesn’t buy it. Better figure out another way to get her to listen to you.
- Your resources. You and Suzie want to get married, but your allowance alone isn’t enough to live on. Maybe if you combine yours with hers, you’ll achieve your goal.
- Your unique qualities. The US economy continues to grow slowly, and nursery school graduates are experiencing a 100% unemployment rate. You’d better be prepared to show how you’re different from 4 million other 5-year-olds, or your neighbor, Mr. Nichols, will choose Tommy from down the street to take care of his cats.
As someone who has successfully grown into big pants, I can report that there are huge opportunities out there if you market yourself well. Key to creating this success is following the good professor’s advice by writing — and following — a strategic marketing plan. It will help keep you organized and provide a reference tool that will be critical to your future.
Once you learn to read, of course.
With that said, I wish you dry pants, a clean nose and a week of profitable marketing.
Learn from Professor K’Diddlehoffer and Mr. Marketing at www.askmrmarketing.com.
