Perhaps it is time we contact our attorneys. Or perhaps we need to round up some muscle from our local dive bar. We have to take action.
But first, I want to meet the mother who thinks she can buy her child’s Halloween costume the first week of August. And I want to be there to say “I told you so” on Oct. 29, when her child has changed his or her mind about their costume choice for the third time.
I am incensed — yes, incensed to have spotted children’s Halloween costumes on sale in three different stores this week. No, no, no and no. That is just wrong in so many ways. I am seeing the death throes of spontaneity. I know life is busy, but I am very leery of planning things this far ahead. October should not have creeped into our mental agendas yet.
For pity’s sake, the corn isn’t even as high as an elephant’s eye. Our best beach weather is ahead of us. Yes, you might need to think about some back-to-school stuff, but you should also be mindful of the rising ocean temps and start deciding if 70 degrees is warm enough to dive in, or if you will hold out for 73.
It has only just begun to get above 80 degrees outside and there are still root beer floats to sip. Our floaties haven’t popped. There are summer tomatoes still ripening and zucchini getting huge when we’re not looking. Watermelons have only just hit their peak and there are popsicles that need to be eaten. Heck, our summer clothes aren’t even tattered. You can still see the stripes on our beach towels. My straw sunhat hasn’t gone limp yet. There are flip-flops to blow out, potato salad to be made and the second half of that bottle of sunscreen to be used up. There is at least a Labor Day barbecue to plan, before we should get even a whiff of the winter holidays.
In my youth, we were only just packing for a blissful two-week stay in a beach house. So, please, for the sake of not wishing our lives away, hold off on Halloween. Marketers be darned. Somebody get me my tranquilizer dart gun.
Jean Gillette is a freelance writer hanging on to the season with both hands. Contact her at [email protected].
