The Coast News Group
Small Talk

Feeling the squeeze

I am two inches slimmer today, or so the lovely woman told me last night.I really want to believe her, skeptic that I am, and will put that information to the acid test today by trying on my most snug jeans.

And how did all this come about, you wonder? I got wrapped.

A fun and adventurous friend of mine encountered a local businesswoman at a street fair who offers herbal body wraps and does in-home demonstration parties.

It sounded like a hoot, so she asked if I would let her host it in my home.

Hey, the prospect of losing any part of my belly is a glorious reason for a party.

And it was great fun, because the only people who will accept your invitation are your most outgoing, brave friends who are very comfortable with their bodies, and share your ability to laugh at yourself.

It made for a great crowd.

We managed to walk around with wrapped bellies, wrapped upper arms, wrapped necks and such for the evening, as the item worked it’s alleged magic.

I rather hoped to see smoke coming off my body for some serious results, but no luck.

It was a hilarious mix of semi-mummy status and a walking infomercial.

The gracious merchant offered to take before and after photos, which turned out to be where even the most relaxed of us draw the line.

We drank lots of water during the treatment, but, I fear, swiftly retoxified our systems with wine and food immediately afterward.

Yet according to “after” measurements, minor results were gotten all around.

Like anything in life, however, major results require multiple and regular treatments. And like everything else, it would get expensive. Still, a good time was had by all, complete with that great game where you can steal someone else’s gift, played as our wraps percolated.

And who knows, maybe I’ll be able to zip up those jeans for a day or two.