Jean Gillette could find nothing amusing to say about the current health crisis, so is offering one from her archives.
My son just ate a snail. “Oh, yeah?” you say. Your 2-year-old just ate a worm, a snail and half a can of Silly Soap.
Yes, but my son is 10, this snail yet another step into the world of things I can’t afford to feed him. He got kudos from his adventuresome grandparents for downing even one garlic-laden gastropod, but from my vantage point, it spells trouble. I realize that escargot will not immediately tempt him away from pizza and Gummi bears, but the fact that he didn’t run screaming from the room, when his grandfather offered it, has me more than a little worried.
You see, our family has a somewhat expensive history of craving gourmet food at an early age. It was just about at my son’s age that my brother decided his favorite meal was chateaubriand, the prime cut of steak meant to feed two adults. I was right behind him with my choice of veal Cordon Bleu.
Being privileged Air Force brats with access to a then very affordable Officers Club dining room, we were allowed to indulge our high-priced fancies. I have no such luxury to offer and no such budget-saver to turn to. Currently, a big dining out experience for us means “Kids Eat for Half Price Night” at the nearest Denny’s.
My little Future Gourmets of America haven’t yet developed a taste for lobster, duck a l’orange or caviar, but it is still a little dicey to live in California where exotic fruit can be gotten – for a price – year-round. It’s hard to convince them that strawberries are out of the question in December when they can see them sitting right there on the shelf.
While I’m trying to find creative recipes using low-cost pasta, baking mix and Spam, I already have one child who would dine exclusively on brie cheese and croissants, given the chance. The other has developed a taste for salmon steaks, French baguettes and imported Italian salami.
I foolishly tried to serve them my childhood favorite of canned tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches the other night. They turned up their noses so high, I could see their adenoids.
Whatever happened to the “Dennis the Menace” list of “Things kids love to eat the best”? Isn’t it supposed to consist solely of peanut butter, chocolate chip cookies, spaghetti, root beer and pizza?
Nowadays, that list more likely reads: freshly ground, organic, no preservatives or sugar-added almond butter; fresh-from-the-bakery chocolate chunk cookies, spinach pasta with five-cheese, sundried tomato marinara sauce, Dr. Zootie’s original recipe ginger beer, and goat cheese, portobello mushrooms and free-range turkey sausage on focaccia.
My mom always said there were children starving in some remote, foreign country. Maybe they’ll eat this tomato soup.
