The Coast News Group
Columns Small Talk

Small Talk: Spoonful of sugar is the medicine?

I cannot tell you how excited I am over some news I spotted via e-mail.

Never mind that it might be poppycock. I am behind this research 100% and am ready to volunteer as a test subject.

The word is that there is research ongoing on treating disease with sugar. All I can say is “Serve it up, please!”

According to the e-mail I received, a local research group is following up results they had from treating a rare genetic disorder with a simple sugar.

But can it be possible that it may lead to sugar becoming a health food? I am a huge fan of all modern medical progress, but I have to say, this one really speaks to me.

Apparently, a simple sugar, called N-acetylglucosamine, was found to increase the growth and repair of nerve-insulating myelin in lab mice, reported University of California, Irvine researchers. They even had a scientific symposium to discuss it. I’ll bet that symposium dinner had the best dessert cart ever.

If this stuff pans out, I envision a glorious future where my pharmacy coverage includes See’s candy and several local bakeries.

Perhaps a candy bar a day will keep the doctor away. Feed a cold with pie? Root beer floats for a fever? Take two bites and call me in the morning?

This is the news I have been waiting for my entire, over-sugared life.

Oh, wait. I am reasonably healthy, but if sugar cures what ails you, I would never have been sick a day in my life, and both my father and grandmother would still be alive and noshing.

With my luck, the healthy sugar probably won’t work when paired with chocolate or you won’t be able to take your medicine orally, but instead need tasteless, painful injections.

La-la-la-la. I’m not listening. I will stay glued to the newsfeed waiting for that major breakthrough.

Those of us with a killer sweet tooth and small regard for our health (or teeth) deserve a break today.

You just know there will be a run on it all when the results are finally published, so I am wasting no time stocking my shelves with all the disease-fighting goodies I love most. If it doesn’t pan out, I’ll have a sweet fallback for that impending earthquake.

I’ll see you in the candy aisle.

Jean Gillette is a freelance writer who’s been known to eat dessert first. Contact her at [email protected].

Leave a Comment