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Small Talk: How to shut down a (spider) web site

OK all you arachna-fanatics…just turn the page. This bit is about my latest victory over spiderwebs.

I’m not sure how long this wonderful discovery will last, but for at least 24 hours my backyard patio remains spider- and web-free.

Yeah, the magic potion I discovered reputedly discourages our little eight-legged chums from wanting to set up house here.

There is plenty of backyard left for them to claim as their own and I leave it to them. I’m just looking for a border agreement for my chairs, table, bar and overhang.

I’ve been searching for non-toxic yard care solutions for some time now, what with years of dogs and children and realizing store-bought remedies flow downstream and poison the world.

I am quite tickled with my discoveries, like my vinegar and salt weed killer. It works pretty darned well and is easy to mix.

I believe I have mentioned before that my yard is truly spider central, as my husband keeps it entirely organic and pesticide free. I support this, but one day this summer, my face hit yet another spider web and I snapped.

Scraping web out of my hair, I noticed the patio looked like a Halloween photo shoot. I don’t require that the spiders go toes up. I just need them to move to the suburbs, amid the trees and bushes.

Finding a spider repellent made of sweet-smelling essential oils was glorious. You can also get results with vinegar. Your yard may smell like salad dressing, but it isn’t toxic.

I also discovered you can use coconut oil, another fragrant option. For now, I’m going with 10 drops of lemon oil, 10 drops of lavender oil, 1/2-teaspoon of dish soap and a cup of water. Just put it in a spray bottle and take aim.

I may eventually switch to vinegar, as it claims to keep the spiders away longer. Even an easy chore is still a time-consuming chore and those critters are relentless about squatting in the upscale patio neighborhood.

Jean Gillette is a freelance writer and spray-bottle sharp shooter. Contact her at [email protected].