The Coast News Group
Woman wraps Christmas present
ColumnsSmall Talk

My gifts have gotten a bad wrap

I am vindicated. I am not alone. A recent survey result said that the holiday chore people hate the most is wrapping presents. Just hearing that was the best Christmas gift I could get.

I have been known to snort derisively at survey results, being very skeptical about how many people really were asked and where, and who — unless, of course, I agree with the results. This one has my full support.

I have been the joke of our family for decades because of my slap-dash method of gift-wrapping. I only use tissue wrapping paper and go heavy on the tape, in every direction.

My corners are not neatly folded, my ribbon ends are not even. The best I can do is keep it color coordinated.

I think I may be lacking in fine motor skills. I know I am lacking in patience, and suspect that is the real issue. Wrapping gifts does not bring out the artist in me. It is too screamingly time consuming during a season when time is precious.

I also chafe at the fact that a gorgeously wrapped gift gets 10 seconds of admiration, followed by complete destruction.

And, of course, I have always been the one who wraps the majority of the gifts. My husband apparently hates wrapping even more than I do.

My solution is to spread the gifts, paper, tape, ribbon, scissors and tags all across my counterpane and then turn on a holiday baking show.

I am reasonably distracted from the fold-and-cut, fold-and tape, tape-and-retape, try to tie a single-handed knot routine by visions of sugar plums.

Oh, and I always have some sugar plums at hand. It’s rumored I have eaten an entire tin of peanut brittle during a wrapping binge. There are, however, no credible witnesses. Cocoa, eggnog or chocolate will do, as well.

I find myself wondering if that is why Santa is so chubby. I suspect the elves, having made the gifts, also refuse to wrap.

Pass those sugar cookies.

Jean Gillette is a freelance writer sporting holiday paper cuts. Contact her at [email protected].