Recently, I went for my annual mammogram. A necessary procedure for women. They stretch your breast out as far as they can, then smash it flat with a tight plate on top of it.
When it was over, the technician (a man, naturally) said, “That wasn’t so bad.” I said, “Compared to what?”
Now I’ve got a built-in garter belt. Maybe I should jump rope using them. I can’t go braless anymore because it will thicken my waist. The next time I buy a bra, I’ll be looking for a size 38 long. Thanks a lot.
I got this comedy column because I wanted the exposure. Well, I can’t expose myself. The last time I did that, I got in trouble. The cops have no sense of humor.
I work at the Del Mar Fairgrounds. We just had the Good Guys Car Show (Long may they reign!) Lots of vintage cars and hot rods. Older women go to that show to see the same car in which they lost their virginity.
Easter is next Sunday. Invite friends and family over. They’ll show up if you tell them it’s going to be a real PEEP show.
Jere Evans is a local comedian and comedy writer. She lives in Encinitas and is a proud member of the Daughters of the American Revolution. Follow her on YouTube at @jereevanscomedy.
