Doorman Diaries

Politicians don’t really deserve deference

So Hank Williams Jr. did the unthinkable. He bluntly spoke his mind while being interviewed on a television program, and has since lost a job he’s had for 20 years. Good ol’ Hank made an analogy about describing a round of golf between President Barack Obama and House Speaker John Boehner last summer as “Hitler […]

Diary entry No. 9.16.2011: Blackout

TIMESTAMP: 3:38 p.m., Thursday Sept. 8, 2011 …I hope I have enough of a charge left in my laptop for this missive to make its way out to the rest of the world. They have to know what’s going on here. The sun is still out but we have precious few hours left to try […]

No one makes it out of life alive

As another year slowly creeps across the calendar, life and death usually pop their silly heads up and beg another conversation. The final breath that walks us through our last steps towards what will continually be the original enigma: What happens after we die? That’s the ultimate question. The quintessential quandary that we all dance […]

As a bar employee, you see it all

Ever got your arm stuck in a pool table? Yeah, me neither. But some daffy dilettante just happened to accomplish that daring feat of blinding stupidity, which, of course, gave the bar a bit of urban legend status because customers still come into the establishment asking if we’re that bar where that blonde chick got […]

This family story is a classic every time

There’s an incident in my family that has since become legend. It involves my younger brother Chris, my Mom and myself. Words cannot describe how many times we’ve recounted this tale of misery and woe to all of Chris’ girlfriends and obviously his wife. I can’t wait to tell his son, Zach. Anyway, let’s begin… […]

Life in a bubble

So, being the parent of an active, and usually snacking, 3-year-old who attends pre-school, I’m beginning to feel the strain of a fairly new child predator that threatens to destroy the very fabric of our children’s learning facilities. Of course, I’m talking about the peanut. That horrible little jerk is not actually a nut at […]

To all aspiring community artists: Use common sense

The “Surfing Madonna” — I guess the fact that I even chose to capitalize the title of the Vandal Art means that it holds some type of artistic merit with me. The topic is all the rage in North County and even managed to get a wee bit of national coverage with its “Is it […]

I’m going to organize my own religion

En route to the butt-headedly re-named San Diego Zoo’s Safari Park (know to every human in San Diego as the Wild Animal Park), I almost slammed on the breaks, nearly driving my family off of State Route 78 into a gully, Dukes-of-Hazard-style.   With a furtive glance to my right, my lilting career ambitions had […]

How to order alcohol

You and I both know what you like to drink. You had an inkling when you hopped into the shower — before your friends tapped their car horns to rudely let you know they’ve arrived — that your liver’s about to get punished. You know you’re going to gulp liquids that are specifically brewed and […]

Corporate mergers can get weird

Our economy’s in the crapper and there’s some odd bedfellows playing footsie in our business sector. It’s usually a mishmash of brick and motor companies we know nothing of, promoting a product we care even less about. For example, Fiat is merging with GM Europe. To which you reply, huh? What’s a fiat? Sounds like […]