If you are going that way, you’ll be glad to know they are clearing away the construction cones and signs on the road to Hell. I finished paving it last week with a full day of good intentions.
It was a day to make heaven sit up and
pay attention. While in England, they did their best to celebrate the holy Anglican matrimony of the future king of England, I did my part by committing a couple of mortal sins … sloth and gluttony. Well, heck. It was my birthday. And I firmly believe that the older you get, the more you get to indulge yourself on your natal day. I only did it for Wills and Kate, of course.
I started the day off well with monk-like discipline, rising at 1:30 a.m., not to observe Matins, but to watch the Royal wedding. Had we actually gotten an invitation, we would certainly have sat in church for five hours behaving ourselves in our tasteful suits and fascinators. As it happens, we were in my friend’s living room, so instead, we donned our best tiaras, gloves and jammies. We then savored egg casserole, fresh fruit, scones, lemon curd, chocolate, tea and Mimosas while we laughed, critiqued, oohed and aahed. We sort of sang the hymns and raucously recited along with some of the ceremony, as we were all of Episcopalian upbringing and it was delightfully familiar. Our favorite part was, “And thereto I give thee my troth.” And then we went back to bed.
I proceeded to nap away the day, harboring the best of intentions to go to the post office, drop by work, keep a doctor’s appointment and maybe even take an exercise class. Each turned to a cobblestone on Hell’s Highway, as I rolled over and snoozed some more. I believe I did look younger when I woke up, though.
I got my nose back to the grindstone the very next day, so don’t fear for my sad little soul. I bought it hyacinths on my wicked day off and enjoyed every minute of it.
There are those who insist the only way to heaven is through flawless behavior. I’m inclined to believe God really does want us to have a little fun, as well. I think Wills and Kate would agree.
Filed Under: Small Talk