The dirty secret no one tells you after you say ‘I Do’

After writing about my trip to the marital altar last summer, I thought I would let my single Rancho readers in on a dirty little secret I learned. Getting married does change your life, so be prepared. All that you have known will change the moment you say “I do.” I feel like telling the truth about some recent issues. Like?how those that I love have omitted major days on my calendar because it might overshadow their own current news. When did life become such a competition?
I remember entering the dating world more than six years ago, frightened by the aggressive behavior and mating habits of my older and younger friends. Prior to my first marriage, there were no cell phones. You checked your answering machine when you got home. When you would meet your friends out, no one could text message, watch movies, twitter or Blackberry their life away. You were there until the party ended and then you went home to your answering machine.
My analysis is that technology preys upon the vulnerability of my gender. This has left all of us fighting for the next best picture post on Facebook, or who has the better life. What is this world coming to? On a side note, why does everyone send out these bragging Christmas card rants? The words humble and sincere have turned into dirty words, while bragging is all the rage.
Don’t pity me. I’m the “girl around town.” I still have friends. However, my relationships have changed with the addition of the second ring added to my left hand. In retrospect, somehow being engaged was a better bitter pill to swallow for my girlfriends. When I was single, I had more friends than you could count on 12 fingers (obvious joke). How are things now you might ask?
 Well, you could say I’ve developed a thing for male one-hour dramas on television. I watch a lot of “CSI New York” and “CSI Miami” since my unit of “Sex and The City” dismantled as soon as the honeymoon ended. Who knew your dating status carried so much power in your friendship circle?
The dirty little secret no one wants to tell you is the reason why married couples suddenly develop relationships with other married couples is because all of your single friends actually dump you due to reasons you will never understand. Instead of hanging out at your favorite places, you now drive to North County suburbs on the weekends to be with new inviting faces because they wear wedding rings, too.
The only way anyone can weather this inevitable dumping after the betrothal is to actually love the person you marry. Otherwise, you could blame them subconsciously for the fact that your number of invites to parties has suddenly dimmed like the lights on Norma Desmond in “Sunset Boulevard.”
In order to survive this transition, you must develop new rituals. Start going to different places so you won’t be constantly reminded of that huge void that now exists due to the vanishing act of all the singletons that once so dearly loved you as the party girl. This is my warning to those playing the dating game: Make sure the person you marry can be your best friend, too (i.e. Robin). That way, you won’t be upset by the mass exodus after the reception is over. Come to think of it, that must be what the reception is, a fairwell to old friends. Because trust me, you will never see them again. The good news? I am in love. Don’t worry. I still love my single friends. I just miss them on occasion.
Around town
On Dec. 28, just after Christmas, Robin and I headed out of town to La Paz, Mexico. What better way to start a trip than taking a luxurious ride to the airport? I was thrilled when MIB Transportation offered us a ride in high style. I have included a photo of my arrival to the last exit before entering Mexico. What was so wonderful about Men in Black Transportation is they are affordable and less than a yellow cab. I don’t know about you, but I personally would prefer to ride in Lincoln Towne Car with plush leather interior over the alternative. The men are professional, and you can book them for any kind of transportation services in town. Thank you for making our exit out of the states worry-free. To find out more about MIB Transportation, check out their Web site at www.mibtransportation.com.
On Dec. 31st, The Coast News Group cohorts were celebrated New Year’s Eve all over the southern region of United States and Mexico. While I was ringing in the New Year with the Shulls in La Paz, Mexico’s Three Virgin’s Restaurant, some of my other colleagues were celebrating first-class, too. Encinitas Territory Manager Krista Lafferty had made reservations at Yogi’s in Cardiff-by-the-Sea. She informed me that even though you might think beach style here, everyone that booked reservations showed up in tuxes and black-tie style. Greeted at the door with a complimentary flute of bubbly, guests also enjoyed their own bottle of champagne at each table. I must say that sounds rather grand for Yogi’s! Everyone there brought in the New Year dancing the night away until they counted down to 2010 according to Ms. Lafferty. Rumors are circulating around the office that she might be next for marital bliss. Let’s hope she’s ready to kiss those single friends goodbye because we know she will never see them again. Thanks for sharing your photo and story.
Over the mountains and across the desert, Associate Publisher Chris Kydd and his girlfriend Jonica Willams celebrated New Year’s Eve in Sin City — Las Vegas. Chris informed me the streets were overflowing for one of the biggest New Year’s Eve bashes ever. They checked into the Sahara Casino, then made their way to join in the party on Freemont Street, where visitors from all over enjoyed top cover bands like “Guns and Roses.” The beer overflowed and in this photo featured, notice the cups are actually football glassware. Now that’s just about as patriotic as it gets.Thanks Chris. Meanwhile, the Shulls rang in the New Year near Papas and Beers with their own tequila in hand, while living it up near the miraculous water in Baja California. And if you are wondering, yes, we did visit the famous Hotel California.
On Jan. 1, Territory Manager Tony Barrymore took an amazing hike with his beautiful wife Dianne on Mount Palomar Mountain. You might be wondering from his last name, and yes he is related to the famous Barrymores from Hollywood. His great grandfather was the famous movie actor John Barrymore. No wonder he takes regal pictures. Tony doesn’t like to brag, but I will for him. He has been the top account advertising representative for The Coast News for almost two years. That is definitely worth celebrating.
On Jan. 4, I crossed the border back into the states and spoke with one of my clients, Cokas Diko. Where “Frugal meets Fabulous” on interior decoration, this is a wonderful furniture and gift shop located on Cedros you won’t want to miss. Here is the back story on the business: They first opened in 1998 in Santa Rosa, Calif. When success came almost instantly, a second store opened in Solana Beach in 2000. Rancho Santa Fe residents don’t have to drive far to find “vibrant styles” for their home decor or unique gift ideas for their loved ones. You can even access their online catalog at www.cokasdiko.com, or take a fantastic journey back in time inside their unique store. I just loved all of the eclectic pieces. But most of all, they are at prices that won’t break your wallet right after the holidays.
Back to Rancho Santa Fe. Sorry, but my coverage ventured off the map for this holiday season. If you have any fun stories you would like to share, I’m back in the Ranch and looking forward to meeting you, so e-mail at mpenn@coastnewsgroup.com.

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  1. Micky Penn says:

    I’m always glad to read your column, Machel. Interesting reading!

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