The recent trend in the backlash against marriage

Two days before my wedding, I did all of my normal grocery shopping at Ralph’s in Del Mar. I picked up my little bag of tangerines, coffee and the rest of my list. As I stood in line, the nice checkout lady scanned my items. My mind was full of hope and dreams with just two days to go before my wedding day. I stood there daydreaming away until I noticed the cover of Time Magazine: “Unfaithfully Yours, Infidelity is eroding our most sacred institution. How to make marriage work,” by Caitlin Flanagan. My first thought was, how incredible this writer received a byline on the cover Time. My second thought (I’m highly superstitious) left me furrowing my forehead for at least five hours, leaving me with a new set of wrinkles to worry about at the end of the day.
If you are wondering, yes I did indeed “go through with it” as my many acquaintances have said repeatedly. Yes, I believe that marriage is a worthwhile institution that solidifies the love between you and your mate, while announcing to the world you are taken.
Writer Ms. Flanagan reveals in her incredible article that marriage still holds many benefits not only to those who are married, but also to society.
The reason I am writing about this is because my husband and I experienced a lot of negativity from personal friends and acquaintances regarding our trip down the isle. Just last night, someone I know in the Ranch had the audacity to come up and congratulate us and then in the same breath say, “Looks like you’ve gone and ruined a great relationship by getting married.”
I am disgusted, hurt and disillusioned by such undermining words. Yet, we are still experiencing this type of, “Wow, so you actually did it … good luck, marriage is hard work.”
Anything worth achieving is hard work. Nothing comes easy and there isn’t a perfect white picket fence in anyone’s front yard. If you want to grow as a person you must climb the ladder. You must make strides to improve and take risks that are sometimes scary.
This “forever” word has many of my peers shaking in their boots. They wonder, “Can I stay faithful, will I still like this person in ten years, will they cheat on me, what is going to happen?”
 I have a secret to tell you and it’s a big one: There is no forever. We cannot predict what happens tomorrow or in 10 years no matter how much we would like to see into the future. Life is a mystery for you now to create. I like the fact that life isn’t a slam-dunk. All we can do is make decisions, and live confidently in our own choices.
I am thrilled to “go through with it.”  I took the great leap of faith because that is what real courage and commitment are about. The trend in the backlash of marriage is directly related to the changes of technology in the last 20 years. Everyone is constantly looking for the next best option, when really, love is quite simple, as my best friend Melissa Williams stated in her toast to me at my wedding.
“Unfaithfully Yours,” is a pathetic trend for those who do not have the heart to live honestly and openly. My advice to my cynical peers: grow up and find some deep commitment within your own lives and stop criticizing a pair of newlyweds that still believe in happy endings.
Around town
On June 2, at the beginning of the summer, I took the diet plunge and signed up at Medizone Weight loss Clinic in Encinitas. I had met Dr. Jonathan Hayes through mutual friends in the Ranch. He had approached me earlier this year and I had declined. With only six weeks to go, I decided to put my pride aside and commit myself to a makeover for my wedding. Can you say instant success? This was my experience immediately. In the first week I lost 10 pounds. In the second week, I lost six pounds and before the big day I lost more than 22 pounds before my wedding, bringing my inches back down to a more slender build like I had in my 20s. One major requirement — no wine with dinner. I must admit at first this was a challenge. However, after six weeks of the program I have re-evaluated my overall lifestyle and am thrilled to find a healthier approach. I am still on their program today because I am having so much fun with it and feel better than ever. I will write the end conclusion to this experience in August after my honeymoon. I still have to look fabulous in a bikini in Mexico! In the meantime, call Medizone in Encinitas at (760) 783-9200 if you have packed on some weight due to poor diet and too much pizza! Thanks, Michelle and to the gang for all of your wonderful support.
On July 10, my fiancé and I tied the knot in the courthouse in San Diego! While waiting for our marriage license, we decided to just go for it. I must say that day was like a wild ride. I managed to go to work, get married, meet clients, have my oil changed and shop at a Fredericks of Hollywood all in one day! I had never seen so many happy couples lining up the cheap way to tie the knot. Who said marriages were a thing of the past? I just wished we would have videotaped it. However, Robin said, “Some memories are better left to the imagination.
On July 11, the official wedding day came. Don McVay had agreed to marry us. Ken and Katie Shull hosted a wonderful reception for us in their elegant backyard garden near Lake Hodges. More than 110 guests arrived, trying to beat the heat and enjoy the drinks from the festive evening. I had to announce in my wedding dress that we had gotten married the day before. Luckily, Don’s beautiful short sermon, which consisted of some Irish prayers and beautiful scripture from the Bible smoothed over any initial shock at our announcement. Sometimes in life, you must do things your own way in order to get them done! Thanks to all of my gorgeous friends who supported our reunion that night.
On July 21, Mille Fleurs hosted a pre-opening day Race Party on their courtyard under the stars. Guests enjoyed a deejay spinning house and nu-lounge music, in addition to $6 to $9 tapas, and $6 to $8 wine by the glass. Now that is a reason for anyone to celebrate under the stars. These prices will continue during Race Track season. Take advantage of Tappas Tuesdays all during the Race Track season.
Save the dates:
On Aug. 1 and Aug. 2, John Pabst will be hosting a Party Extravaganza in The Crosby, featuring a trip giveaway to Quivira, Los Cabos, Mexico. You could win two nights and three days at the Ritz Carlton Residences. Attend this lavish bash on Aug. 1 or Aug. 2 between 1 and 5 p.m. There will also be other giveaways, which include two threesomes of golf with the builder at The Crosby. Call John Pabst for more details at (858) 484-1402 or e-mail him at John@PabstAssociates.com. I will, of course be there with my camera to catch the local celebrities around town arrive in high fashion.
On July 30 at 6 p.m., The San Diego Young Professionals Committee presents it’s fifth annual Chocolat & Vino Affair wine and Chocolate tasting at downtown’s Stingaree. This Signtature YPC event will raise funds and awareness for the nonprofit Big Brothers, Big Sisters of San Diego County. Tickets are on sale for $40 online at
www.ypcsd.com and $50 at the door. There will be a deejay and cash bar on sight. More than 13 wineries are sponsoring this event, as well as 10 restaurants.  I can’t wait to attend this event. Maybe I can break my diet to sample some fabulous wines and chocolates for this special evening.
On Aug. 23, The Country Friends big event “Hats and Flats” will be held at the San Diego Polo Club, located at 14555 El Camino Real, between Rancho Santa Fe and Del Mar.  For more information for this fabulous summer event, contact The Country Friends at (858) 756-1192 or www.thecountryfriends.org.

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