You say you knew OF me, yet it is obvious that you did not and do not really KNOW ME.

You say you knew of my circumstances, but did you really? Did you ever approach me directly? Did you ever ask me? Did you ever listen to me tell you the entirety of my story with an open heart and an open mind?

You were not there when I was injured. You were not even aware that I had been sexually assaulted, so it seems that you were more informed by the gossip and lies and propaganda of the military rumor mill, along with a very narrow-minded vision of what you thought you saw, than by what was actually going on.

That is what makes “invisible injuries” so difficult. I am still relatively young, and I still have all my limbs, so I do not “appear” to be injured, and it becomes easy to point the finger at me and claim I did not make the requisite sacrifices to warrant being compensated for my injuries.

I assure you: I served honorably and courageously and stayed committed to serving my country to the best of my ability to the very end, even when “the best of my ability” changed because of my injuries, and I required a live-in caregiver to assist me with getting through the rest of my time on Active Duty.

As a woman placed “unofficially” in a combat situation, I had to work harder than my counterparts to earn even the baseline level of respect I deserved, ESPECIALLY after being injured and having my injuries affect my performance!

You cannot know how much pain and suffering and betrayal and stress and loss it took to reduce me to what you may have thought you witnessed.

I did not feel like I had completely left the “war zone” even after I got back to the states because of people within the system who were choosing to perpetuate the MST (Military Sexual Trauma) PROBLEM by harassing me, seeking to discredit me at every turn, downplaying and denying what I went through, and doing everything they could to railroad me out of the military with as few benefits as possible.

I am not the problem. How women(and men, for that matter) are criminally mistreated for reporting a crime while their perpetrators are protected and promoted is a bigger problem than my performance suffering AFTER I had COMPLEX PTSD from being exposed to COMBAT AND SEXUAL trauma as well as brain and spinal cord injuries while being under-diagnosed and over-medicated so as to cover up the truth about the true extent of what had happened to me.

The system may be flawed, but I still love my country and am thankful to the military for giving me the opportunity to serve! I went to the war zone willingly, even after hearing in combat training that I would be “at a high risk for isolation, capture, torture, and being shot at and blown up.” I did not run away, but rather, swallowed hard, paid close attention, and forged ahead with my fellow comrades.

I did not mean to put myself on a pedestal just by stating the facts. I can not UNDO what I experienced just as you can not DENY what I experienced. It is still hard for me to forget how I ran for my life to the nearest bunker on base every time the explosions started or how every time I ventured off base, I had to face the possibility that I might be captured or killed. It is still hard for me to not be tense around everyone I come into contact with, whether I know them well or not. Calling me a liar does not make me one, and your attempts to discredit me can not cover up or completely conceal the truth.

You speak of the symptoms of my injuries yet claim I was lying about being injured. You speak of the challenges I faced, yet you give me no credit for staying in the game and striving to overcome them. You reference the emotional walls I put up to protect my heart from years of being overly stressed as well as persecuted and abused by those in the system who were choosing to be part of the problem, and yet you do not recognize them as such.

The fact that I got an honorable discharge and any benefits in light of what I had to endure for nearly three years after reporting the criminal actions of my Army supervisor — a sexual predator who worked directly for a high ranking officer — is a miracle and a testament to the fact that I am telling the truth, and I refuse to give up or give in despite how much pressure is placed on me.

If you knew me personally, you would have pointed out how I was before this deployment and how I have changed both for the better and for the worse.

If you knew me professionally — PRE-INJURY, when I was still working in my area of expertise — you would know that I had a keen mind, a joyful spirit, an excellent attitude, a strong work ethic, an insatiable eagerness to learn, and that while I may not have been perfect, I was very trainable and open to feedback, advice, and instruction.

If you knew me at all, you would know that I am not a flat, one-dimensional person with no redeeming qualities.

All I can do is stand in my truth, speak up for myself, and report what I experienced. I refuse to be shamed into silence. If that makes me belligerent, then it just goes to show how hard I had to fight to have my voice heard.

I still believe that asking a high-ranking officer what they are personally doing about the MST PROBLEM in the military is more of an opportunity for them to prove how they are accountable than an act of disrespect on my part. The fact that I had to stand up for myself to high-ranking officers just goes to show how high the problem goes!

I will always be thankful for my family and friends and people like Tara and organizations like the National Women Veterans Association of America who choose to be part of the SOLUTION rather than the problem. You showed me that I am not alone, and that I do deserve to fight for what I know to be right, even if with everyone who doubted me and treated me with disdain.

Honey, thank you for acknowledging my service. I wish you the best of luck in your future military goals. You seem like someone who is open to seeing things honestly and objectively while considering all the possibilities involved. Please promise me you will choose to be part of the solution even when it is not convenient or popular.

Jamie, your apology is noted. Thank you.

I am a little confused at some if the comments/statements – Ms Wyatt – you argue the point that you were indeed trained for combat…it has always been said that ‘if you don’t want to go to combat, don’t volunteer for the military’ (discussions/joining/military.com) so although I understand you were perhaps less likely – why would anyone think any job is safe from harm? The job is based on the needs of the military – and in the last 10+ years, those needs have all been in or near combat situations.

Tara – while I will agree that the comments originally stated were not directly responses to the article, the type of behavior would have been documented – so proof would exist. Often our perception of our work behavior does not always mirror what others perceive of us. Missing or late appointments would cause a significant devaluing of integrity – in the private sector leads to disciplinary action up to and including termination. However, as this was a military issue and probably post-injury, they may have only documented without affecting discharge.

Also, you state that the comments could be slanderous – again, this would only be if these could not be proven – but may not have affected the actual discharge. You also state, “This comment is all to(sic) common of the lack of support for victims of military sexual assault” – the article never stated any actual assault (there was mention of kidnapping potential, etc) and the comment made by Jaime (m/f?) did not accuse/address any falsification of that – so how do you accuse someone of not supporting a victim of sexual assault – when not only was the information not provided, but not remotely stated? Would that not also be considered slanderous? It would seem that this added information by your statement serves only to inflame the conversation and place focus on your own agenda.

And Mr/Ms Jaime – I understand your frustration, but there is a time and place for everything, if you encounter a wrong – the time to address it is as close to the offense as possible. Hindsight is always a more difficult argument.

For the record, I am not currently serving though I have plenty around me (grandfather, 2 brothers, sister, brother-I-l, 4 cousins, best friend & her hubby). I hope to join after this next semester is over, I’m working on a direct commission JAG – **keeping fingers crossed**

Besides having warheads and car bombs detonating very near to me and traveling “outside the wire” in the performance of my duties, I also experienced the “friendly fire” of being SEXUALLY ASSAULTED and being denied justice and treated as the problem after reporting it.